


let’s talk about it

by SnappleSnapSnake



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Anxiety, Drama, F/M, Future Fic, Gen, Guardian Marinette Dupain-Cheng, He's not though, Identity Reveal, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Is Over Adrien Agreste, Miraculous Team, Post-Canon, Talking, background rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27708344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnappleSnapSnake/pseuds/SnappleSnapSnake
Summary: And Marinette can sense the separation between everyone- the hidden scars that have been covered up with good luck and magic ladybugs. In this room, everybody knows things that nobody should: how fast the wind blows when you hop and dance across rooftop tiles, the feeling of magic coursing through your veins, the thoughts that tend to haunt you because ‘that hit could’ve killed’.So, no matter how much they all laughed and smiled and tried to relate to each other, her friends (she, herself) could never truly talk freely, not without tiptoeing secrets and spitting out lies. It’s her fault, Marinette knows.That’s why they’re gathered in her small, dingy apartment- crowded with fabrics, ideas, and foils- as a way to repent. To reveal truths that will set far too many things free. She’ll fix it. For them.(because maybe, just maybe, marinette doesn’t want them to isolate themselves, to lose sleep over the what-ifs, to deal with everything alone. not like she’d had to.honestly, this is probably just her way of being selfish)
Relationships: Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe
Comments: 10
Kudos: 53





	let’s talk about it

**Author's Note:**

> What is editing?
> 
> (also I'm sorry for lack of author/line break content, dear readers)

The first person who came was Adrien- punctuality being a lesson he could never really shake, even long after the estrangement from his father. He’d brought cheap wine as a gift, a bag of croissants squished between the crook of his elbow and his chest. Marinette had laughed when she opened the door to her dingy, messy apartment- the sight of Adrien with a croissant halfway down his throat too funny to not.

He gave her a shy smile and Marinette had to marvel for a second- as she usually did after she’d discovered Adrien’s identity as Chat Noir- at just how weird it looked on his face. Far too closed off, regulated as it always was around her (her, being marinette. not ladybug. never ladybug). She gave him a grin in return, stepping back and letting him in.

Only a few minutes after Adrien came in, Luka was at the door, guitar (in a case, of course) leaning on his hip and smiling as gently as he’d always had. Marinette hopped in excitement, it wasn’t particularly hard to find Luka (not since he’d opened his music shop, which happened to be rather close to her parent’s bakery) but it felt like it had been a while since she’d last seen him. Almost instantly, Luka pulled her into a hug.

Once they let go of each other, he said, “Been a while, huh?”

So it wasn’t just her…

Marinette led him into the living room, where Adrien sat scrolling through his phone as he sat on her couch. He smiled at her, a little more real than before, before it twisted into something Marinette couldn’t recognize- eyes lingering on Luka.

It was quiet- awkwardly so. She hadn’t really expected such a weird tension in the air, especially with Luka around.

Trying to disperse the terse atmosphere, Marinette urged, “So, it’s been a long time since you guys have seen each other, right?”

Luka walked past Marinette, sitting next to Adrien on the couch. He smiled at him, though it didn’t seem as warm as the one he’d given her before, and said, “Yeah, it’s definitely been a while. Maybe even a year or so.”

Adrien furrowed his eyebrows as he inspected Luka, “You didn’t bring anything?” The question almost sounded accusatory.

But, Marinette wasn’t able to say anything before the doorbell rang- a quiet ‘ding’ that seemed to clink against the iciness of the room. She looked back, worry curdling in her stomach, before she walked towards the front door, unable to hear Luka’s response.

(or well, she kind of did- a muffled answer that didn’t sounded far too friendly in tone.

_ “i’m sure you could afford better wine than that.” _

really, marinette was just a bit too tired of ignoring things- that was what this gathering was for, after all, to stop ignoring everything- but she could make a few exceptions. sometimes it was nice to not know how bitter people could be when she wasn’t around.

a foolish idea, maybe. but sometimes foolishness could help her last quite a while. lying to herself was easier with that in mind. just a little white lie she could whisper under her breath.

so yeah, she hadn’t heard anything- not at all)

Outside her door was Nino, a fact that she was grateful for. Nino really was good at making everyone relaxed- which was usually Luka’s job, but he was occupied doing the opposite this time around- meaning she wouldn’t have to suffer any longer.

He smiled at her, a grin wide across his face- soft in the way it had always been and sharp in a foxy kind of way (that was totally alya’s influence). His hat was tilted and green, probably new considering its lack of worn fabric around the edges. A bag of probably-snacks looked light in his hands. Marinette smiled back, and she hoped it looked less nostalgic than she felt.

They hugged. Their arms tight around each other the way only childhood friends could. It was very unlike her hug with Luka, which was all draped arms- loose in an odd way. That one was fresh, familiar in only concept. Nino and her hug was more like chocolate cookies that you hadn’t tasted in years- warm and the kind of thing that tugged at her heart.

Maybe Nino felt that way too. Or perhaps she was being too sentimental- piling random thoughts upon the more important ones that she couldn’t bring herself to think about.

“Where’s Alya?” She’d asked once they had let go of each other. Marinette was sure they’d be arriving together.

Nino glanced behind him, towards the open doorway, wind making Marinette chilly, “She’s parking the car. Hopefully it won’t take too long.” He sounded almost sheepish.

“Yeah, parking is pretty hard to find on this street- sorry about that. It makes me wonder how Luka and Adrien got here early.”

He inclined his head at the names, “Luka and Adrien are here?”  _ alone _ was an unspoken word, probably not meant to be noticed by her- like she wasn’t supposed to notice the weird tension between the two.

She didn’t mention it. Really, it wasn’t any of her business- and soon they’d be much worse problems to manage.

“Yeah. Excited to see Adrien?”

Nino’s lips quirked up at that, “I saw him last week, but I’m always happy to see my bro.”

Marinette noticed how he fiddled with the edge of his jacket’s sleeve (it was an oddly heavy jacket for the weather, she noted. sure, it was cold, but it wasn’t raining or snowing. just cold) and she knew he was as anxious as her to keep things civil between the cat and the snake.

“Jacket?” She asked, offering her hand out.

He shrugged off his heavy jacket, answering her questioning look with a pout and a “It’s cold, okay?”

He dropped it on her hand and she remembered he was a turtle.

(did luka have a jacket on too? she couldn’t remember)

Marinette waved him off, hoping that Nino wouldn’t have to defuse much. She didn’t envy him. Waiting for Alya was a much better job- but, well, Nino got to see her best friend everyday, it would be unfair if  _ Nino  _ was the first one to greet Alya. What kind of host would that make her?

Yeah, it had absolutely nothing to do with the nervousness boiling in her stomach when she thought of the two boys, sitting on her couch- wine on her coffee table- spreading toxins with their glares.

( _ “you didn’t bring anything?” _

_ “i’m sure you could afford better wine than that.” _ )

And probably sniping at each other. Like grumpy teenagers, Marinette mused. If Tikki was with her, she was sure the kwami would have something to say about that.

She hung up Nino’s jacket by the door, then began her fourth round of waiting.

She sighed- tired and heavy and expressing in ways nothing else could really be. The afternoon was going to be a disaster. She knew that. She knew.

(marinette could just call the whole thing off. no one would know, just herself. just her.

actually, maybe that’s why she hadn’t called it off yet)

Marinette shivered. She hadn’t closed the door yet.

So, she closed the door, not liking how sluggish even the slightest brush of wind made her feel. But such was the life of a ladybug. She’d stopped complaining about it after the third year of the sluggishness, Tikki couldn’t do anything to fix it anyways. At least it had gotten a little better- ever since her earrings were enclosed back into the jewelry box.

(but still, she missed spring- there was always something nice about spring)

Just as Marinette had started to tap her feet in a messily constructed pattern- the beginnings of boredom- the door was thrown open (she had forgotten to lock it when she closed it) and out popped Alya, all spring and all step. Smile a foxy one- all truth and all illusion. All excited canine.

Marinette was practically tackled into a hug. She probably would’ve fallen over if she hadn’t expected it. But, well, it was Alya- so she had.

(it was hard for alya to change too much, marinette had noted after years of knowing her, it was always the small things that shifted. she didn’t think it was on purpose- that alya hated change or anything- but it was just who alya was. foxes were subtle creatures, after all)

They both laughed, giggled in their unique sort of way, and Marinette let her arms swing around her best friend.

“God, it feels like it’s been forever.” Alya said, still grinning.

“Just five months.” 

Marinette hoped she didn’t sound too wistful, but by the way Alya tightened her grip just a bit and whispered (soft and comforting in that alya sort of way) “I missed you too”, Marinette was sure she had sounded exactly as wistful as she felt. Which was, if fact, very wistful.

Growing up was surprisingly lonely, at least when it came to off the important people in her life. (that was the part that made her whole ‘noble goal’ way too selfish) She missed far too many people. It was good to let go of the past, not everyone could stay, but there were some people who were still around. Marinette just had to try a little longer to get to them.

They let each other go at some point, finally. 

“Nino get here in one piece?” Alya nudged her elbow at Marinette’s shoulder.

“Completely whole.” She responded matter-of-factly, leading her friend to the living room (though alya probably remembered where it was)- desperately hoping that Nino had fixed everything.

They were welcomed into the room by the sound of gentle strumming- Luka sitting at the end of the right side of the couch, letting her hands run up and down the neck of the guitar, pick going blurry from the speed of his hand. At the other side of the couch, Nino had pulled Adrien into an engaging conversation- words blathering and loud, just passing time. The bag that Nino had brought with him was on the coffee table, next to the bottle of wine.

But, almost as soon as they walked into the room, everybody noticed. Luka paused his playing, nodding to Alya as a respectful greeting, before continuing with an entirely different song- fast, mystical, and just verging off the edge of being completely off-beat. Adien and Nino smiled, stopping their conversation to approach. Nino gave Alya a kiss on the cheek and Adrien pulled her into a hug.

(and no, marinette was not bitter at all that adrien pulled alya into a hug but not her)

In the end, the seating arrangements didn’t change too much. Alya ended up joining Adrien and Nino’s conversation and, declining their invitation to join in, sat next to Luka. Marinette would’ve felt a bit bad, leaving Luka all alone. Out of the group that she’d invited, she was by far the closest person to Luka and it made her feel weird, just letting that empty space between her friends rot.

So, she just sat on the couch, listening to the intermingling sounds of music and talking fill the room as she waited for her fifth and final guest. Even if that guest was ten minutes late (which, honestly, was a little expected).

Marinette had gotten so wound up waiting that when the sound of knocking (just three simple taps) echoed off her walls, she had instantly jumped up and sped towards the front door.

“Kagami!” She’d shouted, throwing open the door. She had to stop herself from hugging the girl.

“Marinette, hello.” Kagami nodded to her, picking up the bag resting next to her feet. The edges of her mouth seemed to soften.

It was odd how nervous the lack of Kagami had made her. She knew that she was going to be late (because, unlike adrien who had let habit remain habit, kagami had been trying to train herself to come late to gatherings- generally out of spite for her mother rather than actual convenience), that wasn’t a surprise at all. So why had she been so nervous?

Maybe Marinette had missed her team (the whole team, all together) much more than she’d thought she had. She had only seen Kagami a few weeks ago, after all.

“Okay, let’s go!” She pointed down the hall, starting to march down to the living room.

(after multiple years of knowing each other, marinette had discovered that while kagami could tolerate hugs and cheek kisses- she preferred no contact at all)

Kagami followed suit. “I brought lunch.” She said, formal and wry at exactly the same time.

“Oh really? Did you make it?” Marinette slowed her pace just a bit, until she matched her step with Kagami’s.

A nod. “Of course.”

Which, yeah, Marinette had expected that answer. Ever since she had moved out of her mother’s house and requested some impromptu cooking classes (which was what? a couple of years ago?), Kagami had stuck to home-cooking completely. She’d gotten quite good at it, to be honest.

She let a smile stretch across her face, “I bet it’s delicious.”

“Of course.” Yep, that tone was definitely wry, perhaps a little prideful- words brimming at the edges. Just a little.

And, for the fourth and final time, Marinette entered her living room, Kagami close behind. Everyone’s eyes turned toward them in acknowledgement. She smiled at them, letting Kagami pass by her and find a seat.

Adrien waved at Kagami, who simply nodded in greeting.

The gathered group of Marinette’s friends were seeped entirely in awkwardness- something that Marinette had honestly kind of expected. What was there to say, really? Everyone was still reeling from the loss of their kwamis, of the mystical magic that had plagued their lives for years. She doubted they could connect properly with other people anymore- not when they knew the electrifying buzz of power that no one else did.

(it was her fault, of course. she knew that she’d ruined their lives. what else had she expected when she’d given them the world and snatched it all away?)

She cleared her throat, which only seemed to bring attention to the fact that the atmosphere was very, very awkward, catching everyone’s attention, “Ahem. You guys are probably wondering why I asked you all here…” She tittred off, suddenly wishing that Tikki was there to comfort her. Tikki wasn’t there though, and Marinette didn’t know if she could manage this alone.

Well- she had to at least try…

“I thought it was simply a gathering.” Kagami said, eyes narrowed in confusion.

“Yeah, me too!” Alya said, probably a bit too loudly, Nino nodding beside her.

Luka just hummed, fiddling with the tuning pegs of his guitar.

“What is it, Marinette?” Adrien asked, looking straight at her.

She gulped back her fear, trying to stop her breath from getting too heavy. She didn’t need to panic, nothing was going to go wrong. (well, that was a total lie, lot’s of things were going to go wrong- they weren’t going to believe her she didn’t even have her kwami to prove any of her claims ormaybethey’dgetangryandstormoutormaybethey’dyellormaybe-)

“I’m Ladybug.” There, she said it. Two words, easy. (it wasn’t easy- it wasn’t simple- it wasn’t going to just be two words)

Everyone stared, eyes wide as the cogs of their mind turned.

“Oh. You are-” Kagami cut herself off, before nodding in acceptance, “It does make sense.” Her hands were shaking. Just a little.

“Y-you’re…?” Alya trailed off, mouthing ‘what the hell’ as her eyes widened.

Nino took a deep breath, in then out, and let a shaky smile slip onto his face.

Luka almost dropped his guitar, barely catching it from slipping from his lap.

“Huh?” said Adrien, looking straight through her.

“I’m Ladybug.” She repeated, words poison, shame, pride on her tongue. “Yeah.” She was and she always would be.

Their astonished stares seemed to bore into her soul. Marinette could only assume that they felt betrayed- after all, she had kept that secret from them for so many years. But, despite everything, her heart felt a little lighter.

Luka broke the tense silence with a halfhearted chuckle and a ‘twang’ from his guitar, shaking his head, “I can’t believe I never guessed that before. It’s kind of obvious… looking back…”

“Pfft, yeah- and here I thought being late was just a quirk of your’s.” Snickered Alya, wrapping her arm around Nino’s shoulder.

“It was weird how different you became after everything… Honestly, I thought it was Alya’s influence. Guess that was only half of it, huh?”

Kagami and Adrien both stayed silent, the former accepting while Adrien just stared. Marinette probably wouldn’t know what to say either, if she was in Adrien’s shoes.

She’d probably cry.

“Why are you…?” He trailed off, his voice dying halfway past his throat, “Why now? It would’ve been nice if I’d known this years ago- when I’d lost three close people in a single year. It would’ve been nice, Ladybug.”

Marinette shivered against the coldness of his tone. Nobody said anything- there was nothing to defend or justify. No one could do it for her.

“I’m sorry.” Was all she could really say.

“ _ Why? _ ”

“There are plenty of excuses I could use, but at the end of the day it’s because… I was scared.” She laughed, trying not to choke on the dryness of her throat, “And now… well, I’m telling you now because the weight is too much now. I know it’s not much of an excuse, but…”

Adrien shoved his face in his hands, fingers twitching as if he was stopping himself from pulling at his hair, “Yeah, I know. I get it.” He growled, “I get it.” That didn’t mean he forgives her though.

Marinette sighed, “I know you loved me.”

“Yeah, I  _ do _ .”

She winced at the present tense. Instead of responding, Marinette glances at the others, looking for some sort of help to move the conversation further along. Nobody said anything.

(there was still betrayal and sadness and maybe just a dash of loneliness boiling in their blood. just the usual- but, still, overwhelming)

“Are you guys… Do you still want to stay? For lunch, I mean.”

The silence degraded from something tense to just a little more casual.

Humming thoughtfully, Luka said, “I’d like to stay. It would be nice. Lunch.”

The others nodded along.

“There is no ill will between us, so having lunch together would be rather enjoyable.”

“Yeah! Lunch sounds great!”

“Seems cool, dude.”

Adrien sulked in the silence for just a bit longer, ruminating. Eventually, he groaned. “Yeah, I’ll- it’s fine. It’s been a while since I’ve eaten with someone.”

“It’s fine.” Someone said.

And it wasn’t, not really. Nothing about the situation was okay. But, Marinette supposed that was just how it was.

(at least she could tell when she was lying to herself)

That afternoon, her living room was quiet and lively and everything in between. She had never seen anything like it.

Perhaps that was what it was like to be weightless.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I’m sure everyone noticed the varying quality of this work. That’s for a very simple reason- I wrote 2,000 words of this in one night, but then I stretched out the other somewhat 1,000 words over two weeks because the winter blues hit hard. It always hits pretty hard, but it’s more noticeable this year since I’m more involved in the internet. I haven’t been writing much and I haven’t talked to my online friends in a couple of months.
> 
> So, basically, I started to write this and loved it, but then my inspiration and drive sputtered out. I didn’t want to just give up, but I literally didn’t know how to actually end this… which is pretty obvious, honestly. I won’t be offended if everyone hates this ending, I just couldn’t drag out the writing process any further. This was going to be around 6,000 words. It wasn’t that. Hopefully I’ll feel better soon.
> 
> Also, let’s appreciate the rivalry going on in the background.
> 
> I don’t want to jinx anything, but hopefully you’ll see me around soon.


End file.
